Leaders in Progress: From Doing to Becoming
Image by Gaelle Marcel @gaellemarcel on Unsplash
New York, 2006. A few months after my father died, I needed a fresh start. The dot-com boom was still humming along, and companies were scrambling for ambitious young people willing to dive headfirst into digital.
I'd been killing it as a digital producer and strategist at Deutsch. I was quick on my feet, creative, someone who could deliver when the pressure was on. Then this financial services startup hired me to run their global marketing. My counterpart was a seasoned head of sales who'd been around the block. On paper, we were equals, but my reality felt a lot different. I walked in with one thought looping in my head: I need to have all the answers. I need to prove I belong here.
What I didn’t understand at the time was that the company didn't hire me because I knew everything. They hired me to be the one asking the questions.
That first year was a disaster. I was constantly tripping over my own ego, my identity crisis, my insecurities. I was completely convinced that being a leader meant having it all figured out.
Now that I have a bit of experience behind me, I see this exact same thing with many of the leaders I coach today.
Leaders in Progress
Looking back now, I realize I was what I now call a Leader in Progress.
Leaders in Progress are people stepping into leadership who get that the learning never stops. They embrace growth for themselves and their teams. They're the antidote to those performative leaders who think success means always looking put-together, certain and like they've got everything under control.
The stakes at this pivotal point in one’s professional journey are real. The Center for Creative Leadership found that somewhere between 38 and 50% of leaders struggle or outright fail in their first 18 months. And by fail, I mean they either are booted out, demoted, leave the role, don’t hit their targets and/or goals. And the reason for the failure is not because they don't know their stuff. It's because leadership requires a whole new way of thinking, a whole new identity. They aren’t missing the skills. They’re missing the growth.
From my own messy journey and years of coaching others through theirs, I keep seeing the same five traps. The first three are pretty much universal and nearly everyone hits them. The last two are more personal and rooted in deeper beliefs, but equally as powerful.
The Five Traps New Leaders Fall Into
Three universal pain points, plus two belief-rooted traps that quietly run the show.
Before we get specific, a quick reality check: transitions into leadership are bumpy for many capable people. The Center for Creative Leadership notes that 38–50% of leaders struggle or fail within the first 18 months—not for lack of intelligence, but because the role demands new mindsets and relationships.
The Universal Trifecta
#1 The Speed Trap
Belief: "Change should have happened yesterday."
New leaders love to confuse urgency with actually getting things done. They think transformation has to happen lightning-fast or it won't happen at all.
Research that I’ve looked into tells a slightly different story. Consulting firm McKinsey looked at massive organizational transformations and found that lasting change doesn't come from moving fast—it comes from moving smart. You need to get people aligned on the "why" and the "what" before you charge into the "how." This is also what thought leader Simon Sinek’ flagship book dove into. Leaders who actually slow down to clarify direction and build buy-in end up getting there faster.
The shift: Go slow to go fast. Pause and ask yourself, "What needs to be aligned before we hit the gas (again)?"
#2 The Answer Trap
Belief: "I need to solve everything."
So many leaders think that being in charge means being the expert on everything. So they jump in with solutions instead of questions.
Yet data reveals that Leaders who stay curious build better teams. Francesca Gino's research at Harvard found that curiosity drives learning, innovation, and collaboration. Google studied over 180 teams for Project Aristotle and discovered that psychological safety—people feeling safe enough to take risks—was the number one predictor of high performance. And how do you create that safety? By asking instead of telling.
The shift: Fight the urge to be the first one with an answer. Ask a real, open-ended question instead. Curiosity is a super power that truly drives results.
#3 The Performance Trap
Belief: "Impact equals output."
In high-performing cultures, we measure our worth by what we deliver. Leaders judge themselves by their output instead of by what they make possible for other people.
Gallup's research found that managers account for 70% of the variance in team engagement—and engagement drives performance, innovation, retention, all of it. Your real contribution as a leader is as much (or even more) about the environment you create so others can thrive as it is what you produce.
The shift: Rethink what impact means. At the end of each week, ask yourself, "What clarity, trust, or energy did I create for my team?"
The Belief-Rooted Pair
These two traps are personal. They are about identity and control and are often invisible, but almost always powerful.
#4 The Identity Trap
Belief: "If I'm not the expert, who am I?"
The hardest part of becoming a leader is letting go of the identity that made you successful as an individual contributor. Leadership identity is co-constructed in relationships—people “claim” and “grant” leader roles—and that social process can feel shaky when you’re new. Scholars like Herminia Ibarra also show that identity shifts happen through acting your way into a new role, not waiting until you feel ready. Translation: experiment into leadership, don’t overthink it from the sidelines.
The shift: Pick one behavior this month that reflects the leader you want to be. Practice it, even if it feels uncomfortable at first.
#5 The Delegation Trap
Belief: "It's faster if I just do it myself."
New leaders hold onto tasks because it feels more efficient or safer. But this kills both your effectiveness and your team's development.
Research shows that thoughtful delegation actually empowers people, makes them more likely to seek feedback, and increases their motivation. An HBR study found that leaders who intentionally identified work to hand off were able to multiply their impact—they freed up their own time while building their team's skills.
The shift: Sort your work into three buckets: only I can do this, I should probably do this, and I really shouldn't be doing this. Pick one thing from that last bucket and delegate it—but coach for the outcome, not the steps.
Bringing it together
The universal traps ask you to recalibrate pace, power, and proof. The belief-rooted traps ask you to rewrite your story about who you are and how control works. If you recognize yourself in any of these, you’re not behind—you’re becoming. And becoming is the work.
A Coaching Story
A few years ago, I worked with a company that had just gone on this wild acquisition spree. Senior leadership wanted everything integrated yesterday. On paper, it seemed straightforward: merge the systems, the technology, the processes. But when we actually slowed down and worked with the teams, we discovered something completely different. People had no idea why they were integrating or what their roles were supposed to be. They needed time to get clear on the purpose, to figure out what each team brought to the table, to actually build relationships with each other.
Once they had that foundation, the integration plans finally made sense. It had to be purpose first, then people, then process—in that order.
This is what Leaders in Progress do. It's not sexy work. But it's where trust gets built, where clarity emerges and it’s the where the magic of real long-term impact happens.
An Invitation to Reflect
Every senior leader I know has fallen into these traps. Every. Single. One. If you're seeing yourself in any of this, I’m here to tell you that it's not because you're failing. It's because you're evolving.
Here's a quick gut check:
Which trap do you fall into most often—Speed, Answers, Performance, Identity, or Delegation?
What's one shift you could try out this week?
Leadership is ultimately a learning journey that invites you to courageously reflect over and over and over and not have all the answers.
Let’s Talk Leadership Development
As a leadership development coach, I believe that strong teams are built from the inside out—through curiosity, shared purpose, and everyday moments of connection. If you're looking for fresh ways to strengthen your team or want support designing team experiences that feel real (not forced), I’d love to help. You can learn more about my approach to coaching and teaming at wholesum.me, or reach out directly to start a conversation. Let’s connect.