The Stakeholder You’re Forgetting—Yourself
Image by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash
When you think about stakeholders in your work, who comes to mind? Your team? Your manager? Customers? Cross-functional partners? That’s a great list—but if you left yourself off, you’re missing a key player.
A stakeholder is anyone with an interest in an outcome, decision, or project. And yet, we often think about stakeholders as external—other people who have a say in our success. But here’s the truth: You are a stakeholder and you certainly have a say in your own success.
The Missing Stakeholder? You.
Leaders and team members spend so much time managing relationships and meeting expectations that they forget about their own role in the mix. If you’re not considering your own needs, values, and energy as a key stakeholder, you risk:
Feeling like you’re serving everyone but yourself.
Burnout from constantly prioritizing others.
Making decisions that don’t align with what you actually want.
Here’s the thing: If you don’t advocate for yourself, who will?
A Client Story: When a Leader Left Themselves Off the Map
I once worked with a team leader who was stretched thin. She was supporting her team, keeping senior leadership happy, and making sure the organizations clients were satisfied. On paper, she was doing everything “right”. But when we mapped out her stakeholders, she discovered that she herself was not on the list.
When she discovered this, she laughed and said, “Well, I guess I just assumed my needs don’t matter as much.” Sound familiar?
Over time, we worked on shifting that mindset. She started asking herself, What do I need to be effective in this role? What boundaries do I need to set? How am I making decisions that also serve me, not just everyone else? Once she saw herself as a stakeholder, she began to make changes—delegating more, setting clearer expectations, and making time for professional growth. And surprise, surprise: her team functioned better because she wasn’t running on empty.
“Seeing yourself as a stakeholder isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. Whether you’re a leader or a team member, your role is part of the system. When you acknowledge your own needs, you make better decisions, set healthier boundaries, and show up more effectively for others.”
A Quick Exercise: Map Yourself as a Stakeholder
Grab a piece of paper and sketch out your stakeholders. List the key people or groups who influence your work. Now, add yourself to the map.
Ask yourself:
What do I need to thrive in this role?
How do I advocate for my needs, not just others’?
Am I treating myself as an active stakeholder—or just serving everyone else?
Why This Matters
Seeing yourself as a stakeholder isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. Whether you’re a leader or a team member, your role is part of the system. When you acknowledge your own needs, you make better decisions, set healthier boundaries, and show up more effectively for others.
So, where are you on your stakeholder map? Are you front and center, or did you leave yourself off? Let me know in the comments! I’d love to hear how you’re prioritizing yourself as a key player in your work.
Let’s Talk Leadership Development
Hi! I’m Carrie. I coach mid-to-senior level professionals — especially team leads stepping into larger leadership roles and parents returning after parental leave — who feel less confident transitioning from technical expertise to people management. Rather than “starting from scratch”, we’ll tap into your strengths, build your confidence, and help you lead with clarity and authenticity, both at work and at home.
If you're ready to enhance your leadership skills or help your team grow, let’s connect.